If we haven’t seen each other in a while, you’ve probably asked me what I’m up to these days. Then comes the follow up... well, how are you surviving aka: How are you making money? 😂 I’m not kidding, people ask. I used to hate that question because I believed you were defined by what you did. The honest answer is I’ve spent the last year and a half working on me.
When I closed my studio, it looked like I did it on a whim. In reality I had been lonely and burnt out for a long time, and my head went to some dark places. One day I heard myself and thought, LJ, you have a choice here. You can keep going down this path, or you can cut it all and figure out the root of the issue. So I cut it all, then did a lot of reading, some therapy and a lot of inner work.
Gina Bourne used to say on her podcast that the thing you’re chasing is usually a feeling. For me it was feeling calm, safe and blessed, and it turns out it was right in front of me the whole time. This sounds easier than it is… to actually FEEL this. I figured that out in the car with my husband, who is usually my sounding board. I quit my 9 to 5 years ago to be there for my kids, then built a business where I was physically present but never present. Now we both have work that lets us show up for our girls, we still sit down for dinner all five of us at least once a week, and our kids still want to spend the holidays and vacations with us. You don’t need more money for any of that, well, vacations you do 😝. Money helps, let’s be honest, but it’s not the be all end all.
I grew up in the church, stepped away, tried out different versions of spirituality and came full circle back to God (minus the organized religion and church ritual). About a year ago, in my life’s desperation, I started praying every night before bed to say thank you for the day. Some nights it’s just thank you for my family. That small habit changed how I see my everyday life, and how I looked at life. Then I added asking for wisdom on whatever comes up tomorrow. Now, when an idea pops up, I put it out there, because the worst that can happen is I stay exactly where I am, and I like where I am. If it doesn’t land, I never had it. If it does, sweet.
That’s how puppy sitting turned into co breeding (which also stops me from keeping a million pets because they all go to their forever homes 🐶). It’s also how helping a friend start her business turned into The Well Being Agency. You could call me a consultant, but that sounds too corporate, so I call it fractional support for businesses. Call it a gift or the curse of always wanting to help everybody. 😅
So that’s what I’m up to. I’m living the well being life, literally and figuratively. 🧡
If this stirred something up for you, take some time with your journal this week. Find a quiet spot, grab a coffee or tea, and give yourself permission to be honest on the page. Nobody else has to read it.
Write down how you usually answer when someone asks what you do. Then write down how you’d answer if your job title wasn’t an option. Notice how different those two answers are, and which one feels more like you.
Think about a role you’ve been holding onto because of guilt, history or what other people might think. It could be a business, a job, a friendship or a responsibility you took on years ago. What would it mean to let it go, or even just loosen your grip on it a little? Write down what you’d gain and what you’re afraid you’d lose.
Look back at your hardest season so far. Who showed up for you, and who didn’t? Try not to judge it. Write down what that season taught you about the people you lean on and the kind of support you want moving forward.
Finish this sentence as many times as you can: “Right now, I’m someone who...” Leave your job out of it. Your values, your habits, the way you treat people and the things you’re working on in yourself all count.
Then write down three things from today you’re thankful for. Write down the feeling you’ve been chasing lately, whether that’s calm, safe, proud or something else, and one place it already shows up in your life right now.
You don’t need to answer all of these in one sitting. Pick the one that makes you squirm a little and start there. That’s usually the one with something to say.
xx, lj
P.S. If any part of this feels close to home, please reach out to someone you trust. In Canada you can call or text 988 any time.
