Vacation w/ a side of Guilt
How I struggle with this aspect of wellness
I’m currently on a HUGE vacation with my family in Europe. It’s WILD how guilty I’ve been on this trip for being away from work + clients, and at the same time completely (trying) to shut off and enjoy this moment.
This is the first real vacation since I’ve been a mom. And I say that because, yes, I’ve travelled many times as a mom or in the last 18 years. But it was either to visit family in another part of Canada, California + the Philippines, for someone’s wedding in Mexico, or my hen-do.
This was different. This was for the sole purpose of just experiencing, seeing, and checking off boxes of my wish list. And yet this whole trip I’ve struggled with guilt and anxiety over leaving work and building community for 3.5 weeks.
Before I left, I purposely limited how much data I use on this trip and what apps can actually access it. I knew if I didn’t, I wouldn’t completely shut off and enjoy the moment. The little access I gave myself though, has added to the guilty feeling.
This is sooooo classic Filipino of me. We struggle with self care. We think the time/money can be used for something more important. And whenever I’ve said “We’re on vacation “ or “This is a lifetime experience” or “We deserve this”, it’s felt like imposter syndrome.
So last night, I meditated/prayed (however you wanna look at it). I have just under a week left and we are headed to our last destination; one I’ve been SO looking forward to. And I will enjoy it, guilt free.
Do you struggle with this too?
