Inay Said Don’t Get Too Dark… But I’m Healing Anyway

Your Skin, Your Rules: Letting Go of Old Beauty BS

Growing up in a Filipino household, beauty was always a topic—whether we wanted it to be or not. It was in the offhand comments from titas about skin tone, the reminders to stay out of the sun ("Para hindi ka umitim!"), and the idea that straight, jet-black hair was the gold standard. Beauty wasn’t just about looking good; it was about fitting into a mold that was passed down for generations.

But self-care? That wasn’t even a word we used. Taking care of yourself was practical, not indulgent. And if it was indulgent, it had to be for a special occasion—a debut, a wedding, a big event. The idea of prioritizing beauty and wellness, just because it made you feel good? That wasn’t the norm.

Fast forward to today, and the way I see beauty and self-care has completely shifted. It’s no longer about achieving a certain look or gaining outside approval. It’s about how I feel in my own skin. It’s about rituals that make me feel grounded, strong, and me. And the best part? I get to unlearn what doesn’t serve me and redefine beauty on my own terms.

For so many of us, beauty standards were ingrained early. Fairer skin was praised, certain body types were preferred, and anything outside of that was seen as something to “fix.” But self-care in 2024 isn’t about changing who we are to fit a standard—it’s about embracing what makes us feel our best, inside and out.

That looks different for everyone. For some, it’s a facial to relax and recharge. For others, it’s movement, a moment of silence, or a cold plunge to reset. It could be as simple as a deep breath before walking into a busy room or as indulgent as a full-body massage. Whatever it is, it should come from a place of self-love, not self-criticism.

At Dalaga, this is what we’ve built our space around—offering beauty and wellness treatments that enhance what you already have, not change who you are. Lash lifts, facials, brow laminations—these aren’t about hiding imperfections. They’re about bringing out what’s naturally yours in a way that feels effortless and empowering.

One of the biggest shifts I’ve made in my own self-care journey is understanding that I don’t have to carry everything from past generations forward. I can take what serves me and leave what doesn’t.

I want my daughters to see self-care as something that’s normal, not as something they need permission for. I want them to know that beauty is not about meeting expectations but about feeling good in their own skin. And I want them to never feel guilty about taking care of themselves, whether it’s through movement, skincare, meditation, or just couch rotting without feeling the need to be productive.

If you’re still unpacking what beauty and self-care mean for you, you’re not alone. It’s okay to let go of outdated beliefs. It’s okay to choose yourself. And it’s okay to redefine self-care in a way that feels authentic to you.

So, what beauty or self-care “rules” are you unlearning? Let’s talk about it. Leave a comment and share how your perspective has changed over the years. 💛